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Posted: Jun 18 2017, 08:37 PM
Quinn| 26 | Eastern | Lena Headey
“Everywhere in the world, they hurt little girls.”
A phrase that Cersei would learn well over the course of her life. The first hurt she suffered was the simple fact that she should have been borne a boy. What a ruler she could have made. For it was she, not Jaime who possessed the qualities of an heir, she had all of her father’s cunning and intelligence and none of her mother’s weakness to get in the way. What an age of prosperity she would have brought to the Westerlands. Yet it was her beloved twin who was the true apple of their father’s eye. The only one who any real thought or care who was given to while Cersei had to content herself with a noble woman’s lot in life. To be used as a pawn in her father’s quest for the game of thrones.
Yet Jaime never let her feel as if she was a pawn. From the moment they exited their mother’s womb they were connected in ways that no one could understand. They were of one heart, one mind and one soul. At least that was the girlish endearments she whispered in her twins’ ear as they grew to love each other more than a brother and sister should. It was in those words that she discovered the subtle sort of power a woman could wield if she were so inclined to take it. Using her beauty, her body, and sugary sweet words of love and devotion she bound her brother to her with ties no earthly body could break. The problem was that Cersei believed those words as much as Jaime did. In that way Jaime became her greatest weakness, something she would never forgive him for.
It was a heady feeling to know she had such power, to command her brother’s loyalty more so than her father’s. It was a taste of something that would become the ultimate aphrodisiac to the woman as she came into adulthood.“Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.”
A lesson learned from another hurt suffered as a maiden. As Cersei grew into a young maiden she knew that she was unlike others. She was destined to be Queen as promised to her by her father. Not only was she possessing of beauty unsurpassed in the Westerlands, and a dowry richer than any Targaryen princess, she was born to be Queen. She possessed the intelligence, the manipulation, the lack of conscience that would allow her to rule as her husband’s equal instead of his consort.
At age fourteen it appeared she would have her wish. She was taken to court to be presented as a potential bride for Prince Rhaegar and she had no doubts at all that her father would secure the match for her. After all he had promised her since her seventh name day that he would make her a Queen. Instantly she was infatuated with the young prince. Not in a romantic sense, for her heart would always belong to her beloved twin. But for the promise of power tying herself to a person such as Rhaegar would provide.
Assured that she would be Queen one day and a Princess in the near future, she took steps to make sure her beloved brother would be with her always. It was she who suggested Jaime forsake their father to join the Kingsguard. It was she who promised him that they would always be together. Whilst she might be married to Rhaegar in name it was always he who would have her heart. Yet that wedding would never come to pass.
The Mad King refused Tywin’s request for a betrothal and they returned to Casterly Rock to lick their wounds. Cersei would grow to hate the Targaryens with a malice that was reserved for a select few in her life. Namely her brother Tyrion, for murdering their mother in childbirth. They denied her, her birthright and for that they would have to suffer. But she was a Lioness, and a lioness never struck blindly or without purpose. She would lie in, wait, and stalk her prey.
“Nobody cares what your father once told you.”
How true that would be. No one cared that her father had told her she would be Queen one day. No one cared that she was once again shackled by the confines of her sex. Had she been a man she would have mounted a rebellion herself, taking up sword and shield to claim what was rightfully hers. But because she was a woman, she was returned to Casterly Rock, to eagerly await her father’s choice for a sloppy second attempt at matrimony.
He refused many offers, and many more came flooding in as Cersei’s youth and beauty flitted by. In the end it was Oberyn Martell who was to be Cersei’s consolation prize. She would never be Queen, and barely a Princess as Oberyn was a mere second son.
Cersei cared little one way or the other in regards to the marriage, aside from the respect it garnered. The Red Viper was a feared name in Westeros and with that fear garnered position and status. The marriage was comfortable in the sense that each gave each other the freedom to do as they please. Cersei cared little if Oberyn wanted to fuck painted whores, bastards, or barnyard animals throughout the seven kingdoms as long as when he was with her, he was only with her.
“You’re a clever man. But you’re not half as clever as you think you are.”
A thought that drifted through her mind as each of her children were born. Even after her wedding Jaime was never far from her side, neglecting his duties as their father’s once again heir to be with her. Oberyn and Ellaria even encouraged it, as it didn’t take a halfwit to figure out Cersei was infinitely more agreeable in her brother’s presence. Their first born was conceived shortly after her wedding to Oberyn. All of Dorne praised the Viper’s virility. When it was a pure blooded Lannister Lion that was growing in her womb.
When Joffrey was born Cersei knew what it was to feel love. Real honest love in the purest and truest form between a mother and son. Whispers abounded about a fair haired Martell. But Cersei was to besotted to put much credence in them. The Lannister genes are superior stock, it’s hardly cause for alarm that her firstborn take after her. And as Jaime was the male version of her, it was not worth even mentioning. As he grew Cersei would always put him first, above that even of the other two children Jaime would give her. Perhaps it was because Joffrey took after her the most. Or maybe because much like her, Joffrey was the one who needed the most love.
" Love is poison. A sweet poison yes, but it will kill you all the same."
For years she had secured Jaime's love and loyalty. He had forsaken all others for nearly a decade after her marriage to Oberyn. She was secure, happy even. Out of her own love for her twin she had never allowed a child she conceived with her husband past the initial stages of pregnancy. Although in name she might belong to another man, her heart was Jaime's. And she had thought she had the same in return.